I’m not antisocial anymore because I find people interesting, but I still love being by myself. My boss knows when I need a walk. She lets me wander because she understands my mind wanders and if my body can follow for even a moment, I come back fresh and ready to work. People who meet me now wouldn’t expect I come from a lifetime of feeling small; a working class immigrant family; or the backwards ass state that is North Carolina. I look and act differently from who I was, but it’s still me. Jenni Tetrazzini from the block.
I refused to regress and it’s why I’m intentional in every step I take, the work I do, and all my interactions with people. I’m not sorry for avoiding the dog shit on the lawn. I’m not sorry for telling my friends to avoid the dog shit. I’m not sorry for sometimes stepping in the dog shit, scraping it off, and looking around like, “Who didn’t pick up their dog shit?”
A girl’s been booking it since her second grade teachers realized she didn’t need English lessons, she should be with the advanced kids. I’m only more confident in myself these days because I moved away from people who tried to keep me down and started sharing my time and energy with people who deserve it. The positive feedback loop has been dope.
I don’t want to be pretentious. I hate fake rules. I hate fake people. I grew up surrounded by fakes and refused to follow them. You want efficient writing? Move over Hemingway, you’re not the only one with big thoughts and small words. Also, fuck rules of grammar unless you can’t tell the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re.’ There’s an apostrophe, people. It’s two words.
I have friends in all types of industries. Whatever industry they’re in, they’re probably at the top or getting there and if they don’t have anyone to point it out, I will. I’ll gas someone up if they need it and, at the same time, I’ll throw a Supreme brick through that ceiling they’re staring up at so precariously, shattering all the notions of what’s right or wrong – what they think is holding them back. Because why not? Caring is cool.
It’s nearing the end of 2018. I’m going to miss writing here, but I’ll be writing elsewhere. If you need anybody to look over your words, I gladly offer my services. Copyediting and fact-checking is alive and well, what can I say? #RealNews. If you’re reading my writing at this point, you’re a friend. You’re someone I talked to in person, someone I shared this little space of the Internet with, or maybe you’re someone’s someone’s someone. Okay, if you’re that far removed, I don’t offer my services to you. There’s only so much time in one lifetime.
A STOR¥ BY ? 