I was supposed to be home this weekend. J. Cole was throwing the first Dreamville Fest and I bought tickets for it in February. I don’t care what any LA kid says about J. Cole, Apparently made me cry in my car once and he singlehandedly put NC on the rap map. Dreamville Fest was going to be one of those historical things with a lineup including SZA, Big Sean, and Young Thug, and then a “hurricane” came through and everything got cancelled. Thanks Trump.
So instead, my Saturday was spent getting bangs, going to the Rosemead Moon Festival, and almost fighting a drunk white girl and her sugar daddy at a club in Ktown.
When I write a sentence like that, I almost want to be like,
“Well…
that’s it, bye.”
But I’ll elaborate.
Getting Bangs
Growing up, I was taught to wash my hair everyday. This led to me having the sorriest head of hair for a majority of my life and it wasn’t until I moved and dropped the family practice that my hair bounced back. I felt it was time to bring back the baby bangs I rocked in childhood, so I did and it’s pretty great. Tori screamed when she saw me and said Kylie Jenner was right when she said 2018 was a year of realizations.
Going to the Rosemead Moon Festival
A more legitimate 626 Night Market. Asians galore. I ate lamb skewers and stinky tofu because everyone else was. Overpriced, but somehow worth it. I’m broke. A Vietnamese woman tried holding my hand in the crowd and her husband laughed and said, “Wrong person!” I replied, “It’s nothing.” Her hand was very soft.
Almost Fighting a Drunk White Girl and her Creepy Sugar Daddy at a Club in Ktown
Tori invited me to her friend’s birthday party at Arena, a club I’ve been wanting to check out. Tasha, the birthday girl, was really cute. One of her white girl friends came with an old white guy. Tori and I were, at first, confused by the old white guy. We didn’t know why he was hovering around a group of young women and we didn’t know if he was part of the squad, but then we realized the situation and minded our business. We just wanted to drink and dance. They seemed alright and then they had a few drinks and all of a sudden, the girl didn’t want Tori and I sitting at the table. This is how it went down.
Tori and I
Attempts to sit down on couch
Drunk White Girl
Does not make room
Me
Hey uh… can you scoot over a bit?
Her
No.
Me
No?
Her
Is dead ass serious
Me
But… it’s for Tori?
Her
That spot’s for my boyfriend
Me
Huh
Creepy Sugar Daddy
Comes back from getting a drink
Her
Okay you two can get up now
Me
Huh
Her
GET UP
THAT SPOT’S FOR MY BOYFRIEND
GET UP
GET UP
WE PAID FOR THIS
DID YOU PAY FOR THIS
Me
I thought this table was for Tasha’s birthday
Her
GET UP
Him
GET UP
Tori
Gets up
Me
Not about to get the fuck up
You can sit next to me now, go ahead
Him
Sits next to me
Pushes me off the couch
Uses so much force he falls off the couch
Busts his ass
Spills his drink
Looks like a dumbass
Me
That’s really cute
Her
IT IS
I was ready to square up with the Drunk White Girl and her Creepy Sugar Daddy, but Tori said ‘Not Today Jenni’ and walked me away very classy-like. We laughed about it afterwards. Sugar daddies are a very popular thing in LA. Like, we get it. You have no self-worth or self-respect, so you’ll get with a man who will pay for you to have things and you’ll fight any woman who even breathes in his fucking direction. Calm down and miss me with that shit for real.
I’d probably go back to Arena though I’m not into clubbing. Men try really hard. My favorite is when they ask for your name and you respond with, “Can you even hear me?” and they proceed to scream “MY NAME IS SAMSON” in your ear. Okay, Samson. Thanks.
I let a guy dance with me for once and then I had to tell him to chill because he was bopping like we were at a rave. No rhythm, whatsoever.
But as far as nights out go, it wasn’t bad. Still wish I was flown into a hurricane instead.
A STOR¥ BY ? 