Someone in the family ate my dim sum leftovers and I am a little upset, but mostly I am calling it even for all the fruit, those two slices of leftover pizza, the chili peppers I used to make muối ớt and nước tương tỏi ớt last week, and the date cookies.
My friends tell me problematic things expecting me to react like, “Oh my god, sweetie, no!” But 10/10 it’s like, “Yes, I love it, you’re a homewrecker, you’re selfish, you’re shady, you’re cheating, you’re addicted to drugs, you have screencaps that could ruin your boyfriend’s life if he ever wrongs you, you’re -” and so on. It’s not that I encourage people to do bad things. I like hearing about these bad things and telling people it’s okay to some extent. I imagine men tell other men all the bad things they do, too. Except sometimes those bad things are things like, “I use my position of power to manipulate women into having sex with me” and none of their friends ever draw a line in the sand.
My ex-friend and I met up last night. She’s been going through a hard time, so we made plans for me to drop by after work. We sat in my car and talked for two hours, her dog Luna falling asleep inside my jacket, before my midnight alarm for getting into bed rang. We’re still touchy on the subject of our fight, but lines of communication are open and I think it’s good. I’ve missed her, but I am cautious of us depending on each other too much again. I want to be there during her time of need without compromising myself, so that’s that, I guess.
A college friend tells me I need to stop putting myself up to “imaginary ‘adult’ standards.” This is re: work. Maybe looking at my paycheck today will make me feel better.
The weather is hot. Edgar’s home burned down in the fire and I have yet to see signs of it because I have not driven anywhere. More things for me to be amazed by in California. It’s orange here, which makes me miss NC’s blueness. If you don’t understand what I mean when I describe states in colors that aren’t related to politics, I don’t know what you’re doing here.
A STOR¥ BY ? 