I put way too much of my life out there, but it won’t stop.
I wouldn’t say I had as weird a night as last Saturday, but it was weird in some aspects. I had the chance to have sex, but I turned it down and told the guy to go sleep on the floor. He was doing all the things that showed interest, but I’m starting to think I’m gonna be an asexual freak forever. Then again, it’s totally fair to not want to have sex with someone I just met. All signs pointed to go, but I didn’t want to do any of these things, least of all at one of my dumb coworker’s apartment. I was right about the double date thing.
We agreed to wake up at the same time to walk to our cars together, him offering to buy me breakfast and me telling him that would be nice, but I woke up an hour earlier and said, fuck it, I’m getting my car by myself. I changed back into my clothes (my coworker’s girlfriend lent me some things), moved the guy’s foot off my purse, and deuced out. The air was nice and the rising sun so bright. I touched leaves along the way.
He was nice enough. Ex-marine, wants to be in the police force, once guarded nukes, hates snakes, sells guns for a living, hasn’t killed anybody, but would do so if it meant coming home to his family. We had a conversation over our different political beliefs and though he said they weren’t political, they were. We were different as hell and we held hands and watched The Office. He thinks Pam is the unsung hero for biting the child-bearing, family-raising bullet, while I dislike her for giving up on her artistic dreams – though we both agreed she wasn’t good to begin with. We also dislike Rashida Jones.
He complimented me a lot and I was just like, “Oh thanks. I am pretty cute. I am pretty badass. I guess I am smart and cool and all that…” But it’s not getting further than this so goodnight, buddy!
Anyways, I am tired as hell. I had an interview yesterday and I think it went great. Fingers crossed. That double-income, dream-chasing shit is so much more important to me. If I get this job I’d be ecstatic. The first step towards a career I can take pride in. Ahhhhhhhh.
A STOR¥ BY ? 