3. i’m gone

I am in California now. This is my first night in the state I plan to live in for at least a year.

Holy shit.

Since last post, I’ve ate bomb New Mexican food, seen the Grand Canyon, and made it to Cali. It’s 10:30 p.m. I almost cried today, but didn’t. I applied to one job and watched two episodes of Game of Thrones. I walked my friend’s dogs around the block when it was way too dark to be walking around blocks I barely know and got boba by myself. I considered applying for work at two different boba shops. I thought about why I’m in California.

My mom called me and asked if I had electricity. She doesn’t know why I’m in California and probably expects it – the state of California – to break off and sink into the Pacific Ocean at any point in time. Or maybe that’s what she thinks will happen to me.

I’m juggling writing for this blog, writing for a fellowship application, and writing new pieces. I’ve been writing and reflecting a lot this week. I’m not complaining, but life is on one and I’m trying to figure it out. I’m here in California because I felt like I couldn’t grow in North Carolina. Maybe not “couldn’t,” but “wouldn’t.”

My friend just went from having sex with her boyfriend to fighting him in five minutes. This is the boyfriend she moved in after meeting him on Tinder in March. I have never felt more awkward in my life and that’s saying something.

But ain’t life grand?

I’m not saying that sarcastically.

Isn’t the human experience grand?